The Franken-Vest

November 27, 2005 by


Okay, there is boyfriend knitting. You’ve heard about the curse. You have heard exceptions to the curse. And then there is husband knitting. Some people have great success with Husband knitting. I am thinking I might not be in that category. Like, not at all.
So, way back in August I wrote about the Dog Walking sweater-scroll down to the August 29 entry. Remember, the sweater that weighs about 30 billion pounds? Well, that was knit years ago and I haven’t knit for the Hubbalicious since. Wince.
I noticed that a vest appeared in Hubbalicious’s wardrobe- a logo one from work. The shame! A knitter whose husband’s only vest is one with a corporate logo on it. So I offered to make him a vest.
Then the conversation ensued:
Me: Hon- what do you want your vest to look like?
Hubbalicious: Um, black.
Me: Well, okay- I can come up with a nice stitch.
H: Plain Black.
Me: How about 3 small cables.
H: Nope, plain black. No cables, no nothing.
Me: Go buy it at The Gap.
So we compromised and the vest is a low-key argyle. Two shades of grey and a bit of white on black. This cracks him up because he is a very binary person who is often told he cannot work in shades of grey.
I went to the LYS and bought the yarn. I was all set to use Cascade 220 and I was “upsold” to Jaeger Matchmaker DK. I should have politely stuck to my guns. I dislike this yarn. Immensely. It is splity and I am not crazy about how it looks knit up. Next time I will use metal needles because I feel as if I am carrying a refrigerator through quicksand.
So, I was very excited that we had made the Great Knitted Garment Compromise.
I cast on in the round and quickly finished the ribbing. Excited, fortified and Doing The Right Thing by knitting for my husband.
CRASH!
Argyle is Intarsia! Duh! Panic! Intarsia in the round! Oh no! Sinking feeling. Google my buns off and realize I have no choice but to knit straight. But I declined to rip out all the ribbing. So the front half goes onto a holder and I bang out the back. Simple stockinette. Done!
Then I start the front. I knit, place marker, knit more, place marker and then knit the number of stitches allotted to finish the row.
And END UP WITH FORTY EXTRA STITCHES.
Count. Recount. This is about to have to go to the Supreme Court. Recount again. Feel like I want to cry.
And realize that this vest has thrown down the gauntlet and laughed in my face.
Feeling woozy but driven, I figure the only smart thing is to cut the ribbing which I did. At this point, taking scissors to this thing gave me no fear and a little bit of happiness.
The proper number of stitches were strung onto pieces of yarn and the proper number were knitted up. I went about an inch into the pattern and then I saw it! One of the shades of grey was way to close to black and it virtually disappeared into the main color.
Frog.
Go online, order more yarn, give myself a pep talk and just kept going.
So, husband knitting? The jury is still out. I am now about one third of the way up the front and I am just going to keep going.
I did tell him that if I wasn’t pleased with the vest, that he wouldn’t be allowed to wear it to work.
I am really hoping that blocking saves my bacon on this one.

One Response to The Franken-Vest

  1. C Sax

    Oh no. I wouldn’t rouch this with a ten foot pole – except to say, I like it……..Lots of love, Your Mother!