I used to have such interesting standards (read: I was a total snob and idiot) about creativity. This is art, that is trash. What does it mean? How could they make that. Well, there is art and then there is craft. I spent years trying to change the way I painted or made sculpture, collage, or knit. Yes, I tried to be better at those things but I am talking about trying to change the style or essence of these things. I could no more change my painting style than I could change my eye color with the power of my mind. I truly think that everybody has their own creative style.
Penmanship is a good example of what I am talking about. Each person has their own personal handwriting, and you can make it neater, but I say it is nearly impossible to change it. It is yours.
I mean I make stuff to express myself, so why would I work so hard to change what that expression is. I would see something somebody made and be jealous that they had done it and I hadn’t. What I didn’t realize is that I could never had made that particular that. Someone else made it and even if I did my best to duplicate it, more than likely it would look like I did it. I used to hate that, I used to not understand that this is the gift of creativity. Yours is yours and mine is mine. Seeing this, I am freed up. Somehow in my mind it had been a competition against the maker of the cool object. Now, it is a drive to just do the best I can and learn something new with each project I undertake. A competition to best myself every time I see a chance.
Now, looking back the competing with another person (oh, and, this was a completely internal competition- the others had no idea) about creativity seems so very counterproductive, like wasted time. And like with so many things, I see it was necessary to get to where I am now about creativity and things that I make. I see creativity everywhere and might not love it all but I really strive to appreciate it all. And I am having a lot more fun making stuff. Sure, sometimes the process drives me crazy but at the end of the day I am so happy to have something that is all mine.
Oh and the painting is one I made about 3 years ago, it is 4×6 ft. This is a great example of my having fun, experimenting. I am completely fascinated with anatomy and gesture.